Monday, January 27, 2014

Good, but Deceptive

This article was published last April 2013 in Philippine Daily Inquirer's Youngblood section.

“A love that is not true will lust, a love that is true will last.” That’s a quote I heard in a Christian gathering I attended last Valentine’s Day. It was the first time that I attended a Church-related event where young people are taught how to deal with the offers of the flesh.

I asked myself then: Why only now? Why did they not teach us about it more than five years ago? Why were they so silent on sex?

I believe that our 1990s generation is made up of “transitioners.” We witnessed how the modern era ate up traditional beliefs and cultures, leaving only memories. We were the victims of the close-your-eyes-there’s-a-kissing-scene automatic syndrome, which left some of us innocent of the bitter taste of life, the cloth in a glittery, sumptuous wrap.

More than five years ago, a period I have no way of gauging except by my own experience, teenage pregnancy was a big scandal. In typical cases, a girl gets pregnant, and the boy must marry the girl so as to cover it up. Other pregnancy cases are denied: The girl’s family sends her to the province for the preservation of whatever name it has. Still other cases end up in devastating situations: suicide, abortion, postpartum depression. But everyone was in denial that it was even happening.

It’s apparently worse these days: Younger and younger people are involved in premarital sex, resulting in their being parents at a very innocent age. It’s a case of being in a situation where the body may be ready but the mind is too young to adapt to parenthood.

People may say that it is our choice, that we are in our right mind and right age to know what sex is. The reality is, no. Because more than five years ago, when everything was just heating up, it was curiosity that was boiling inside a teenager’s mind. And it was the period when the topic of sex was something that no one dared ask about because it was frowned upon by most “traditional” people.

Sadly, no one dared talk about it, not even during “faMEALy” days. So we resorted to a different form of learning—experience.

And because there was no guidance on what and what not to do, curiosity led to broken trust, torn relationships, and changes in family trees.

And now, seemingly in response to a growing society of beanstalk-like family trees, education on the critical subject is being promoted. Everyone is suddenly conscious and brave in saying the word “sex.”

Did we need the Reproductive Health Law to be passed just for young people to be educated? I guess it’s too late. We are just applying some remedy, but the disease has gone too far, just because more than five years ago, a period I have no way of gauging except by my own experience, no one dared ask about it, no one dared discuss it.

For almost three years now I have experienced how it is to be forced to think and act like a mother. They say that all women have that motherly instinct—and I do not deny it—yet I still have the “singlehood” instinct that seeks fun and adventure.

I guess that gives me a double role in society. But it rips me apart: Do I catch up with the opportunities offered to do the things that I want, or compromise to do what’s best for me and my angel?

It is the worst feeling. It is as if one is robbed of one’s dreams, of opportunities, of fun, of freedom, of many things that one should be enjoying. But with motherhood as my other role, I just can’t do those things now, not ever.

If sex education was as open more than five years ago as it is now, maybe a lot of “me” will be able to think of what should have been the right decision.

I am a single mother. I am not proud of it but it doesn’t make me shy about it because I can never think of myself being able to speak this way without having that experience.

I speak in behalf of those who were victimized by innocence more than five years ago. Lucky are those who are hearing lectures and learning now, because finally, “traditional” people have opened their minds to the fact that sex education is something that today’s youth  must acquire.

Experience may be a good teacher, but it is deceptive. 

Friday, January 17, 2014

Bebang and Poy Wedding 2013


"Book loving couple"

Kay tamis na wedding invitation

Noong nabasa ko pa lang ‘yung invitation, pakiramdam ko, binabasa ko ang sequel ng It’s a mens world, at sa December 30, 2013 ang live na continuation. Na-excite ako lalo noong makita ko ang,

Best man ng Bride, Elijah Sean Siy.

Alam kong magiging kakaiba talaga ang kasalang ito.

at hindi ako nagkamali.

Bago ang kasal
Para akong sinapian ni Napoles noong araw na iyon habang tinatanong ako ng tatay ko kung alam ko kung paano ako makakarating sa pupuntahan kong kasalan noong araw na ‘yun.

“Hindi ko po alam.”

‘Yan lang halos ang sagot ko. Pero dinugtungan ko pa ng, “May mapa naman ako!” Habang pagmamalaki kong ipinakita ang mapa na nasa loob ng kulay orange kong invitation.
Pero noong halos nakabihis na ako, bigla akong nanghina at kwinestiyon ang sarili kung bakit ko na naman naisip makipagsapalaran mag-isa ng naka-dress—takaw tingin sa mga magnanakaw at manyakis sa daan.

“Ayan, tapang-tapangan ka na naman! E paano kung maligaw ka?” sabi ng konsensiya ko.

“E ‘di magtataxi ako, ‘yung MGE!” sagot nung isa pa na hindi ko na alam kung sino.

Sinigurado kong nasa loob ng bag ko yung mapa, maiwan na lahat, ‘wag lang ang mapa.

Pagdating ko sa San Agustin Church, manghang-mangha ako. Bigla kong na-realize na madalas naman ako dati sa may bandang Intramuros, pero hindi ko alam na sa kabila ng pagiging moderno nito at Mcdo sa may entrance, may natitira pa rin palang kwento at alaala ng nakaraan sa pusod nito.

Hindi pa ako sure kung nasa tamang lugar na ako, pero nakita ko si Ej. Si Ej ang laging clue ko sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. Kapag nandoon siya, ibig sabihin, tama ang pinuntahan ko.

Naalala ko pa noong Aklatan 2013, nakita ko si Ej, sinundan ko siya pero iningatan kong ‘wag magmukhang stalker, para lang malaman kung nasaan si ms. Bev, na host pala ng event, pero sa labo ng mata ko, hindi ko kaagad napansin.

Naghintay na muna ako para sa oras na papasukin na ang Beb at Poy batch ng kasalan. Nagmasid ako sa paligid, sa mga taong dumadating. Masaya silang lahat, excited. Wala man akong kakilala, maraming pamilyar na mukha akong nakikita—mga writers, mga sikat na writers!

Habang naghihintay, may mga namigay ng dyaryo na nakatuping parang isang envelope. Sa loob nun, may mga heart-shaped confetti na ginupit mula sa pahina ng mga libro. Tuwang-tuwa ako, dahil sobrang effort nung heart. Perfect heart! Hindi siya kagaya ng heart ko na mukang apple na malapad. Heart talaga, at iyon ang ihahagis mamaya sa bagong kasal.

Note on the confetti pouch

Ilang minuto na ang nakalipas, nakita ko na ang groom, si sir Poy, sa tapat ng pintuan. Maayos na maayos ang buhok niya at naka-bow tie.

Maya-maya pa, may dumating na mini bus. Ngumiti ako. Alam ko na kasi na ‘yun ang bridal car. Ang pinaka-unique na bridal car na nakita ko. Isang mobile library na puno ng dekorasyon ng bulaklak na gawa sa papel.

Mobile Library ng Museong Pambata/Bridal car ni ms. Bev

May babaeng nakaputi sa loob, tumatalon, kumakaway, dinidikit ang mukha sa salamin na akala mo walang make-up. Siya ang bride, si ms. Bev. Noong nakaparada na ang mobile library, saka nito binuksan ang bintana at sumigaw,

“Todo na ‘to!!!”

Walang duda. Ang bride nga talaga ‘yun.

Ang Kasalan
Habang ang lahat ay nag-aabang sa isang mala-kwento sa libro na pagbukas ng pinto at paglabas ng bride papalakad sa aisle, ako lang yata ang nakatingin sa harap—sa groom.

Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, lagi kong hinahanap ang reaksyon ng groom—ano kayang nararamdaman niya? Ano kaya ang nasa isip niya? Masaya ba siya? Excited ba siya? Iiyak ba siya?

Nakatingin ako kay sir poy. Isang malalim na paghinga ang ginawa niya, at saka uminom ng tubig. Parang ang haba ng oras, parang pa-suspense pa bago tuluyang lumakad sa red carpet ang pinakamagandang babae sa mata ni sir poy—at syempre para sa amin din sa araw na iyon.

Paglakad ng bride, isang mala-angel Gabriel na boses ang kumawala at nagsabog ng kakiligan sa buong simbahan.

“Panalangin ko sa habang buhay. Makapiling ka. Makasama ka. ‘Yan ang panalangin ko, wooh…”

‘tas natunaw ako.

Pero pinigilan ko, kasi hindi naman ako 'yung bride.

Pero, ‘yun ang unang beses na nakakita ako ng hinaharana ng groom 'yung bride habang naglalakad ito papalapit sa kanya. Hay, kilig na dama hanggang lamang-loob.

“Sana naman ay nakikinig kaaaa. Kung aking sasabihing, minamahal kita-aaaa”

Tumingin na ako kay ms. Bev, at natawa ng onti sa pagkaka-timing ng lyrics sa ginagawa niya. Panay kasi ang linga niya sa mga audience. Ang ganda at simple lang ng gown niya, takaw-pansin din ang bouquet na gawa sa papel, at isang personalized white rubber shoes na nagtatago sa loob ng long gown niya.

Kalagitnaan ng aisle, saka siya tumingin sa harap at nakapag-concentrate. Lingid sa kaalaman ng karamihan, isang “emergency” pala ang nangyari.

Ito ang ipinost ni sir Poy sa kanyang facebook account:

Ang hindi alam ng marami, may konting 'emergency' na nangyayari dito kaya na lang hindi kami nakafocus ng maayos sa misa. Nagdudugo kasi ang likod ng ulo ni Beb dahil sa biglang ipinasak na hairpin bago magbukas ang mga pinto ng simbahan.  Hahaha. Kahit kailan comedy.
Photo by ms. Vivian Limpin (got it from sir Poy's fb account)

Palabas ng simbahan, isinaboy na ang heart-shaped na confetti sa bagong kasal. Hindi ko naihagis ‘yung sa akin. Ewan ko ba, lumagpas na pala sila, hindi umabot ‘yung confetti ko.

Madaming nagpa-picture sa bagong kasal, pati na mga foreigner na namamasyal doon, naengganyo sa paper bouquet at personalized rubber shoes ni ms. Bev. Para pa silang naging tourist spot. Bibong bibo naman si ms. Bev ng pagsabing,

“Enjoy your stay here in the Philippines!” (non verbatim)

 
Ms. Bev and her personalized shoes (di ko ma-rotate T.T)

Sa gitna ng mga nagppicture, nakita ako ni ms. Bev, nahiya akong makisabay sa mga nagpapapicture sa kanila na hindi naman ako kakilala, so nagflying kiss na lang ako, sign ng ‘congrats’ ko. Pero pagkatapos noong nth batch na ‘yun, na-solo ko sila sa picture, sa camera ng iba!

‘Yan na nga ba ang isang rason kung bakit dapat nagsama ako ng kahit isa lang. Para may magpicture sa akin. 
Preview ng honeymoon Reception
Pagdating sa reception area, makikita ang mga libro na ready nang ibenta anytime sa kanilang mini book fair. Nasa gilid na rin ang sorbetes at cotton candy na akala ko noong una ay display lang pero eat-all-you-can pala.

Pumila ako para malaman ang aking table number. Number 11. May kasama pang bookmark na may pangalan ng bawat bisita. Effort! Galing!

Personalized bookmark
 
Sa table number 11 ko na-meet si Giselle. ‘Yung nakita ko sa facebook na gumagawa ng mga hand-sewn at cute na cute na mga book pouch, bookmarks, atbp.

At sa reception ko na nga nasaksihan ang iba pang ka-unique-an ng kasalang ito. Book displays sa table, na may mga paper-mini-bride-and-groom design, pretzels at iba pang mga cookies, at candy buffet. Grabe, ikakamatay ko na talaga ang diabetes, at ready na ako doon.

Mini Beb at Poy table displays
Ang design ng harap, gaya nga ng sinabi ng mga host na si sir Eros at ms. Eris, ay tila preview ng kanilang honeymoon—parang sala look-a-like dahil sa sofa, at mga bookshelves na nakadesign sa paligid ng sofa. May mga chandelier-like design din na gawa sa pages ng libro. 
 
Libro, libro, libro. As in libro everywhere, and I super love it!

Reception at Ramon Magsaysay Hall

Sinimulan ang ceremony sa reception ng pagpasok ng bagong kasal at pagbibigay ng kanilang mga vows, at ito talaga ang pinaka tumatak sa akin na mga sinabi nila.

Poy: The moment I loved you… it never ends. There is always something new to love about you. Ang dami dami daming beses kitang minamahal.

Bebang: Hindi ko inaakalang magkakaroon ako ng isang pamilya sa pamamagitan mo. Kasi noong una kitang Makita, mukha kang assassin… Pangako ko, susuportahan kita sa kahit na anong plano mo na may kinalaman sa libro.

Then, ang first dance nila ay hindi ang traditional na slow dance. ‘Yung sa kanila ay parang dance revo na upbeat music ng “Time of my life”—sila ang nagbigay ng aliw sa mga bisita.

Please watch this video. Tas isipin niyo na lang, yung characters ay sila ms. Bev at sir Poy. Itong ito yung video (yata) na ginayahan ng steps nila.



Marami pang mga cultural at inspirational talents ang ipinakita during the program at talaga naming tatak pinoy ang mga talentong ito na nagpapakitang napakayaman ng kultura natin. Nakakatuwa rin na sa isang kasal ko pa nakita ang mga ganitong mga pagtatanghal.

Nakakabilib, dahil hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, makakakita ka ng mga presentation na akala mo sa teatro mo lang pwede makita, o kaya tuwing independence day. Pero pwede na rin, kasi Rizal day naman. Pero iba pa rin talaga dahil wedding ang okasyon. Hindi lang puro pa-sweet ang tema, kumbaga sa tomato sauce ng spaghetti, pinoy style!

Isa rin sa nagpakilig sa hapon na iyon ang isang Short Film na pinagbibidahan ng bagong kasal. Hindi lang ito isang pre-nup video, isang short film pre-nup video na nagpapakita ng kwento ng bagong mag-asawa. Ang title ng short film na ito ay, Bogambilya (directed by Jon Lazam).


Gustong gusto ko kung paanong nagamit ang libro bilang representasyon ng buhay nila, at kung paanong ang pagdating ng isa ang nagresulta sa isang pagbabago tungo sa isang happy ending ng kwento. Hindi ko alam kung tama ‘yung pagkaka-interpret ko, pero sa ganoong paraan ko naintindihan ang kwento, kung paano ito naging ‘pre-nup’—dahil ‘yun ang kwento nila, bago ang kasalan.

Syempre, natapos ang event sa isang pag-awit ni Ms. Mae Catibog ng Rosas ng Digma habang nagpe-perform si Ej ng Tai Chi at Wushu.

Here's the SDE of the wedding (by idigitizer):


Very unique talaga ang kasalang ito. As in personalized ang tema. Tipong pang Beb at Poy lang ito, hindi pwedeng gayahin. Dahil bawat dekorasyon, bawat detalye mula sa wedding cord hanggang sa sapatos, sa bridal car, sa reception, sa book fair sa reception, sa candy buffet, sa sorbetes, sa cotton candy, lahat!

Lahat ng ‘yun, may mensahe at sumasalim sa kanilang dalawa—sa kanilang hilig, gusto, pagkakapareho at pagkakaiba. At higit sa lahat, ang kabuuan ng kasal ay nagpakita ng tunay na pagkakaibigan, na hindi ko man alam ang buong kwento, alam kong ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kanila ang mga tumulong upang maging successful ang isang napaka-memorable na pangyayaring ito sa kanilang mga buhay.

Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away... Song of Songs 8:7a

=======================================================================

PS.
Nagpapasalamat po ako sa family na nagpasabay sa akin sa MGE Taxi papuntang reception. Habang nagaabang ng taxi, may nakita akong MGE, kaya lang may sakay na pala. Bigla na lang akong hinintuan at tinanong ako kung doon din ba sa reception ang punta ko. Sumagot ako ng oo, at inaya akong sumabay na lang sa kanila. Nag-isip ako in a split second:

“Nasa harap, sa tabi ng driver naman yung lalaki, babae at bata ang nasa likod, madali lang ako makakatakas kung sakali man.”

Ako na talaga ang pinaka-paranoid na kilala ko sa buong mundo. Pero feeling ko, bigay sila ni Lord para hindi ako maligaw. Sorry, nakalimutan ko yung names nila, pero taga-MSU si sir na friend ni ms. Bev. Nagturo din pala siya sa FEU dati kaya ang galing, may connection!

PS.
Sobrang na-inspire ako na makapunta sa wedding na ito, kahit initially, hindi talaga ako invited. Hahahaha. Sobrang na-inspire kasi ako sa love story nila. Basta, ang galing lang how everything seems to be perfect for the both of them. Though there are rough times, normal 'yun sa isang relationship, they still ended up being together, forever. By seeing this remarkable event personally, it made me believe in love, again (maraming marami kasi akong hinanakit sa pag-ibig na 'yan! Hahahaha!)--that there is true love, and it comes in many forms--special someone, family, friends, and it sums up the entire day of the wedding on the day of the one of the greatest writer and hero of our country.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Highlights of my 2013

JANUARY

Rice terraces on the way to Kalinga Province
Photo (c) Randy Payang
First out of town shoot---Kalinga Province
- kalinga coffee
- sleeping beauty mountain
- Fang Oud, the last mambabatuk
- 1 hour trek
- Butbut tribe
- Cordillera mountain range
- 50's Diner @ Baguio

FEBRUARY

Young People at LCC Church for the Post Valentine Celebration
Photo (c) Me (kaya wala ako e :p)

First Post-Valentine Celebration
"A love that is not true will lust, a love that is true will last," Ptr. Ness said during his Sermon of the Gospel with the topic, RATED: R (Righteousness)

MARCH

Japheth Ness Marcaida and the awesome panganay ;)
Photo (c) Ganaze Marcaida
Bunso's highschool graduation. Everyone's in college na! ;)

APRIL

My youngblood article with Blizzard treat for myself!
Photo (c) Me
Got published in Philippine Daily Inquirer's Youngblood!
Read the article: Good, but deceptive

RN Team with the Sangkalikasan, Boracay
Photo (c) si ate from Sangkalikasan team
First local flight---Boracay shoot for Summer Special!

Voter. I can make reklamo.
Photo (c) Me
Voted during the National Elections, making use of the 'media' privilege. Oh yeah!

MAY

Bday Celebration @ Vikings
Photo (c) Tina Rellon

 Got a birthday surprise from my RN girlfriends (Jaymee, Ate Elaine, Ate Cess), few days before 24
Lunch with my family
Dinner with Ate Cess and Tinabels @Vikings

War Room (Davao, 1st day and COMELEC, 2nd day)
Photo (c) Me
 First ever election duty
Yeah! Lezz do diz. Para sa bayan! at RAKET!

Nick Vujicic's 2nd book
Photo (c) Me
Saw Nick in person, twice this month!
at Tiendisitas with myself and at Araneta Coliseum with ate Elaine
I super love the chapter 3 of this book! <3

JUNE

with Kuya Ian @ EK
Photo (c) Ian Simbulan
GMA @ EK. Hurrah for family day! :)

JULY

Ang promotional poster na hindi pwedeng ipromote!
Photo (c) Me
Took part and witnessed the proposal of the century during the Dawnwatch Culmination day!


AUGUST

With the lovers of the century
Photo (c) Nestor Marcaida
 Had a dinner treat with the lovers of the century at Dad's, Saisaki, and Kamayan Restaurant

SEPTEMBER

AKLATAN 2013
Photo (c) si kuya from Anvil Publishing
 First ever book affair stuff! Of course, with the ever beautiful, Ms. Bebang. Finally, we met after almost two years! :)


Nilagpasan niya ako, nagets ko na. Hindi niya ako naaalala. Inabot ko ang libro para pirmahan niya.
"Hi, parang nagkita na tayo!"
Ngumiti ako at sa isip ko, "yes! Naalala na niya".
Sabay sabing, anong name mo? (Para ilalagay sa book).
"Gazelle po". (naku, hindi pala ata)
"Anong spelling?"
Sinulat ko sa isang papel ang spelling.
Kitang kita ang singkit na mata niyang biglang nanlaki matapos mabasa ang pangalan ko. yes, narealize niya na sa wakas! 

Le PDAFers
Photo (c) ELAINE MAGBOO (naka-capital pa ha! ;p)
Digested the COA Reports, scrutinized the NGOs, tallied the corrupted kaban ng bayan, and voila! Sleepless nights but we rock!

OCTOBER

Filipino-authored books
Photo (c) Me
 Participated in the Visprint's Warehouse Sale. Booookkksssssss Galore!

My Bible
Photo (c) Me 
Got a one-week sermon from the Lord. The most unforgettable encounter with God. It's as if I'm learning directly under His feet. Such an awesome feeling!

Here's some of it:

Sunday: 1 Cor. 10:31 -"...whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
Monday: 1 Cor. 15:57 - "He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ"
Tuesday: John 14:27 - "I am leaving you with a gift---peace of mind and heart..."
Wednesday: 1 Corinthians 2:5-11 - "Forgiveness for the offender"
Thursday: John 20:19-23 - God asked me, "Are you willing?"
Friday: Romans 12:19-21 - "Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good"
Saturday: Psalm 3:3 - "But you, O Lord, are shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head"

Isn't He a sweet, sweet, God? :')

NOVEMBER

Tawiran sa COP
Photo (c) Ganaze Marcaida
2nd Harvest Conference at COP!

JTR Media
Photo (c) Ganaze Marcaida
I'm glad that this year, I had it with my MEDIA FAMILY <3

DECEMBER

Mini Bebang and Poy
Photo (c) Me 
 The most awaited, ever funny, and book-inspired wedding of the year! This is really a wonderful opportunity, to be a part of a very remarkable chapter of their lives. Ms. Bebang and Sir Poy's story is really inspiring and overwhelming. :3

Giselle and Me
Photo (c) Debbie Vivo
 And finally, I met the owner of Crazy Dreamy Crafts, shop ng mga bookmarks and book pouch na hand-sewn! 

So now, cheers to 2013! For all the firsts, achieved dreams, and remarkable adventures... I'm more than ready, 2014! ;)

Photo (c) Ganaze Marcaida